October 4, 2011
I just finished watching “Eat, Pray, Love”. It was based from a novel of the same title. It really struck me, touched my heart like I should have a long time ago. It talks about forgiving yourself and others after a break up. It talks about rebuilding yourself after being destroyed. It talks about loving yourself first before being loved by others. It talks about being happy alone to be happy with someone.
I know ever since that I should live without regrets. Well, that is what I’ve been trying to do since I learned that line. But it seems it’s the hardest life lesson I have to live. It is impossible to totally live without regrets. But at least we have to try to. There are things in life that we could have change, but we didn’t. For ever mistake that we make, we should forgive. Forgive ourselves first, in order to forgive others. I think forgiving me was the hardest task I should do. I am not a perfectionist, but I wanted to be in control. I wanted things to go my way, at least in my life. But when things don’t end up with what I want, I get upset, disappointed, depressed and regretful. The memories just keep coming back like an old broken record. It keeps playing in my head over and over again. I know I should change this. Sometimes I wanted to just erase that part, that moment that I am regretting. But I can’t. It cannot be undone. What I can only do is to forgive myself. Forgive, even though I cannot forget.
In the end, I realize that whatever hurt I felt, I need to love. We all do. Love is something that we shouldn’t be afraid of. Yes, love hurts. In loving there are risks that we have to take. It doesn’t matter how many times we lose. What matters is how many chances we take. Because the more we take chances, the more we can win, like a lottery. I’ve been badly hurt before, and I swore that I would never love again. But here I am now, trying to take chances, trying to look for that person who will love me for all of me. I haven’t said I found it, but I’m trying. Patiently waiting but making opportunities for me to meet that man. Love is not easy to find. It takes a lot of guts, opportunities ad effort to find the right person for you. But we can only hope that every person that comes in our lives can be the right person for us. And we have to take steps of risks to find out if that person is right for us. Otherwise, we end up gaining nothing and losing everything, instead of gaining even just a little bit.
As I end this article, I hope that people will try to take risks. I hope that those people who lost sight of their dreams ambitions and love can regain their enthusiasm in finding it. I hope that somehow I spark a feigning fire inside their hearts.