Monday, November 5, 2012

"Golden Cobblestone"

Of all trinkets that was kept in my golden box,
You are the one who took most space of all,
But you are also the heaviest burden to carry,
And you made me so tired that I just wanted to let you go.
Even if your glitter still catches my eyes,
But never in my life that my heart is so tired to carry around,
A trinket that was just dipped in gold,
But was merely a stone inside...=(

(Nov.5, 2012)

-This is dedicated to an indecisive person who thinks that he is a "gold", but was really a cobblestone.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

In Falling in Love, You must Love yourself first!

‎"You don’t Love someone for their Looks, their Clothes, or their Fancy car. You love them Because they make you Happy."

That's what truly happens when you fall in love.
Normally, you will have your "LIST". The things that you want about the significant other you want to have. You'll have a "TYPE" or category or classification of guy/girl you are attracted to.
Sometimes this works. Sometimes you'll use it.

But somewhere along the way of finding true love, there will be an EXCEPTION!
That person who defied YOUR LIST and YOUR TYPE.
The person whom you will think about all the time.
The person who will make you insane, irrational and illogical.
The person whom you think who is going to be THE ONE.

But sometimes, s/he MAY NOT BE THE ULTIMATE ONE.
That person might just be a test, a sample or a practice ground of destiny, fate or God(whichever you believe in).
A test of how well you know yourself.
A test of how grounded you are to your core values and principles in life.
A test of how much value you put yourself.
A test of how strong you love yourself.
A sample of how love can affect you.
A sample of what love can do to you.
A sample of how much love can do to you.
A practice ground of how you can love others.
A practice ground of how you can love yourself.
A practice ground of how much you can love yourself.

And because of love, this is what I learn:

"You may Love that person, but you may also NOT LIKE that person."

"You may Love others, but you MUST FIRST LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF."

"You may truly love a person. But when you ask yourself if he is worth all the heartaches and pain that he is causing you, then chances are HE IS NOT WORTH IT."

"You may truly love a person and give love and happiness. But that person must also bring you happiness and the love that you deserve. If he is not a source of "any" happiness, then most likely he doesn't love you back."

A person who truly loves you will want to make you happy and will never do anything to hurt you in any possible way.

I thought I don't know how to love myself. But the truth is, I've always been loving myself.
I keep on forgetting HOW TO LOVE MYSELF.
But now, I know those things. And I love myself.

I value myself the way God values me like his daughter, his princess.
He will only give me to the man that is right for me, at the right time and at the right place.

*Herein photos are not mine. Credits to the sources from different sites... ^_^

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Music Therapy

Sometimes what we feel cannot be spoken.
Sometimes what we want to say should never be said.
Sometimes what we want to do should never be done.

And for that, there is only one remedy for me...
That is to listen to music...
Or for me, CREATE one...

For now, I love the Music of Up Dharma Down.
The Studio Versions of their songs are wonderful.
The melodies are quirky and unconventional.
The voice of Armi Millare is soulful that I wanted to listen to her over and over again.
But they are better in their LIVE performances...
I hope to watch them in one of their live gigs...

Another one is Krissy and Ericka.
Although their music is more of teeners choice, I like their original compositions like "12:51" and "In your Arms".
The words fit like a tee in my life.

And Last but not the least, Sara Bareilles songs.
Her original compositions are like songs of my heart.
The words she put into those melodies are perfect for each other.
These past few months, I love her songs entitled "Between the Lines", "Bittersweet", and "Before I Knew Better".
But what I love most right now is her Mash up cover of Cee Lo Green's Song and her original song... "F*(< %@# and Gonna Get over you"...

And every time I listen and sang along with these songs, somehow I feel relieved.

So I not only encourage you, but I URGE you to have your own playlist to listen to when you're mad, lonely, sad, happy or any emotions that run into your mind.
Because these will help you release tension, stress, and pain.
So enjoy! ^_^

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Hoping for something out of nothing...

"Gusto mo bang pagusapan? Gusto mong mag-isa? 
Alam ko kung anong nararamdaman mo. 
Masakit, kahit alam mong wala kang karapatan masaktan.
Pero nararamdaman mo nagkakaunawaan kayo, pero di nyo pa napaguusapan.
May nararamdaman ka sa kanya. At sa iyo, sapat na yun para ituring mo na sa iyo siya.
Mahirap yung mahal na mahal mo ang isang tao, na sa puso't isip inangkin mo na siya.
Tapos hindi naman pala para sa iyo.
Masakit, pero wala kang magagawa."
- Bert to Cristina(Bobby Andrews to Regine Velasquez) from the movie Pangako ikaw Lang

This kind of love is the classic I-know-that-you-know-that-I-like-you-but-we-just-have-not-talked-about-it-yet.


And what's worse, is that you cannot talk about it. You cannot even react. You cannot even cry in front of the person. You cannot even get angry to that person. Because YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT.

Yes! You don't even have the right to say that you LOVE that person.

You cannot even admit to yourself that after just a short span of time, that you've fallen in love with that person.

And you know what's the WORST?... Is that YOU CANNOT EVEN WALK AWAY FROM THAT PERSON. You Cannot erase that person in your life. You cannot even delete that person's number on your mobile phone. You cannot hide from that person. Because you don't want to stir suspicions from other people that you are hurting and you don't have any option but to suck it up and deal with it. You don't want other people to know about what is happening, because you are so afraid of the awkward silences, piercing stares, rumors, gossip mongers and snide comments. You cannot live with that because you know that you still have unfinished business to do around him, and YOU JUST DON'T HAVE THE CHOICE TO VANISH FROM THAT PERSON'S LIFE COMPLETELY.

And the MOST AWFUL feeling, is that you cannot run away. You cannot even tell that person that you are hurting even though that person has an inkling feeling that there is something wrong.

The only time you'll get stronger is when there is no other choice but to be strong. =(

Extracted from my Grave...

Due to my friends' demand...
My Facebook Account is now Resurrected... or is it Reactivated...hahahaha ;)))
More than 2 months of hiatus mode from the social media and cyber world had been a great Sabbatical for me.

I renewed me from within.

I learn how to keep my emotions. Not every one wants to know what you do, who you are with, and what's going on with your life. But the people who cherishes you and the people that matters to you will search for you, find you not only in the cyber world, but also in the real world.

I also learn how to keep mum about what you feel at the moment... Most especially strong emotions, like anger or elated... Because most of the times, when you've sobered up, the decisions and promises you've made, are not the decisions and promises that you'd want to stick up to....

So before I post, I should think about 10-100 times..^_^


Ever since I started maintaining cyber accounts, I keep only the minimum amount as much as possible of every kind... or maybe none at all. I just feel that I do not need as much portals to possibly reach all of my friends. And maybe that is why I got hooked on Facebook even though I do no play any online games there... actually, I almost don't play any online games at all. :))

There were a lot of indications that I was so hooked in FB that I almost don't sleep at all, even on a school night. I'm a law student, so my classes are in the afternoons and nights, but I only get to sleep around 4-6hours a day because I spend most of my nights browsing and surfing the internet and lurking in FB, and most of my sleep was in the morning. My insomnia is getting worse by the day. I sometimes don't sleep for 2 days because I just couldn't sleep anymore. I tried a lot of times to   get away from FB for a few days or at least a week, but I always end up just keeping away from it for a few days. I also tried deactivating, but I just end up reactivating after 24hours.

But this first semester of this current school year, something prompted me to really deviate from my addiction and get away from social media. For now, I've been away from FB for more than a month now and it's been great. I'm still a late sleeper, but at least I'm sleeping at night now, unlike before.

And because of my sabbatical in social media I learn:
-To think before I click.
-To filter what to say.
-To be mindful that every thing I post, there's someone who will read it.
-To be aware that everything I post will forever be etched in someone else's memory.
-To hide what I feel for the moment.
-To lessen my cyber stalking.
-That not all people doesn't care much about you...they actually do care, and you'll just find out when you leave.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Tunnel of Risk...

majojojo caleruega

Taking on a blurry path was a blind folded step I took...
A risk of all or nothing, a smirk on their looks...
But the light I'm finally seeing, and the tunnel is coming to an end...
The results were finally revealing, that I've gained more than what I have...

I thank the heavens from up above...
For giving me the guide I needed when no one is around...
When kin and neighbors despised and judged what I desire...
When foes and vultures are mourning for lost prey...

For all the worries, hurts and doubts are already cast aside...
For only your light and plan for me captures my eyes...

Sunday, June 10, 2012


Sa aking sapantaha'y 'di inasahan,
Sa aking panaginip 'di man lamang inasam,
Na makatagpo ng tulad mong nilalang,
Nang mamalas ang tulad mong angat sa lipunan.

Unang pagdampi ng mata ko sa mala anghel mong mukha,
Kislap ng mga mata mo'y wari tala,
Ngiti mong nakakatunaw ng aking damdamin,
Sumambulat sa mundo kong madilim.

Bungad ng tinig mo sa aking pagbati,
Himig mo'y nanahan sa aking isip.
Hanap kong kapayapaan sa puso at diwa,
Wari'y di makamtan sa pagkabalisa sa galak.

*Caveat: I was force to expel this cheesy kind of poem to help someone for her assignment in a limited amount of time.
Thus, channeling all emotions available  created a very raw and explicit words to create this words.
Hence, please do not associate this to anyone. ^_^